THE ETHICS OF LANGUAGE
TOWARDS NON-COERCIVE COMMUNICATION
Words are a problem for human beings. We are born into a linguistic culture that precedes us. We have no option but to learn the language of our family and society. This language hijacks our minds, like an invasive software installing itself in our brains (Mollon 2020b). Once there, it is hard to escape.
Words were originally sounds (signifiers) developed to refer to objects or phenomena in their absence – just as paper promissory notes became used to reference a certain amount of gold. Now words, just like paper and digital currencies, are severed from the objects they originally referred to and acquire their own evolving and unstable meanings. Words can flow through minds and conversations, giving an illusion of meaning but the words (signifiers) may be unanchored to anything clearly signified. Like paper promissory notes, words often now relate only to other words, forming an invisible net that snares us all.
When used ethically and with integrity, language is a vehicle for attempted clear communication of meaning. More often, words are used for other purposes – such as to deceive, to denigrate or flatter, to impose a narrative, to persuade or coerce. Language forms a web of cultural assumptions, norms, identities, and implicit rules as to how to think, what to say, and what not to say. For many of us, the influence of this net of language that captures our minds and brains is unconscious.
The web of language carries a force of control, a system of implicit social rules inhabiting our brain and mind. The original psychoanalytic practice of free-association (which is not always followed these days – see Barratt, 2016) can be very effective in deconstructing and breaking up this system of control by subverting the normal rules of linguistic communication – just as dreams take elements of experience, break these up, and then combine the elements in novel ways (analogous to digestion). To some extent we do this also in the normal and healthy process of “mulling over” our thoughts and impressions and allowing our perspectives and conclusions to evolve. Psychoanalytic free-association, releasing the free-flow of the unconscious, further undermines the invisible control and illusions of identity exerted by language, by revealing how we often do not know what we are thinking and speaking or who is thinking and speaking. Something is speaking, but who it is and what it is saying can be a mystery! It turns out that all human ‘identities’ are false, since a ‘true self’ is always an unknown evolving self (Mollon, 2020).
Ethical use of language reflects our inherent uncertainties. None of us has the “truth”. Our perspectives and conclusions are always only a very partial formulation of reality. We should bear in mind that all our experiences and perceptions of the external world are created and exist only in our brains (Lanza & Berman, 2009). This rather obvious yet shocking point is usually elided as we converse together about our seemingly shared experience of a world out there. Light and sound do not exist outside our brains and sense organs. It is only our brains that convert vibrations in the air and certain electromagnetic waves into the experience of sound and light. Outside of human consciousness, the universe is silent and dark. Our brains are continually sampling our environment, making predictions, and deriving conclusions and narratives designed to favour our survival and success in mating - but not necessarily to deliver truth (Mollon, 2025). If we are to use language truthfully and ethically, it should reflect the uncertain and tentative nature of our perception of reality.
More commonly, language is used as a means of coercion and control – a subtle form of violence. We use linguistic coercion to manipulate others to do what we want (advertising), to impose a particular view, belief, or paradigm (religious programming), to dominate the direction of a conversation (politics), to determine what can and cannot be said (court rooms and management systems) or to flaunt our strength (in politics and many other contexts).
Social media has greatly exacerbated the harmful aspects of language. The prevalence of short messages and memes, designed to capture attention and bypass critical thought, results in a progressive loss of the capacity to sustain prolonged attention and deeper consideration of whatever issues are raised. As a society, we show increasing features of ADHD-like behaviour – such as shorter attention spans, impulsive jumping to conclusions, responding to surface triggers, and displaying addiction to shock (Mollon, 2015).
Most posts on social media are not ethically sound. Instead, they show the following characteristics.
- They are memetic – the term ‘meme’ being originally developed by Richard Dawkins to denote an idea that seeks to replicate in a manner analogous to genes – and they are viral (spreading like a virus). Thus, they prioritize replication over accuracy and truth.
- They spread by means of emotional arousal.
- They compress emotional complexity into slogans and binaries.
- They resist thoughtful inspection by linking belief to identity or moral status (e.g., virtue signalling).
- They accelerate uptake and replication by messages conveying urgency: “act now”, “buy now”, “share now”.
- Viral cognition is fast, contagious, and hostile to ambiguity.
By contrast, non-viral cognition and communication is anti-epidemic. It is intended to elicit thought and consideration without pressure to agree or to take action. This is ethical communication and shows the following characteristics:
- It does not require agreement or belief
- It does not punish doubt
- It does not reward immediate response
- It does not evoke a sense of urgency
- Ideas are allowed to remain incomplete
- Understanding emerges gradually
- Instead of imposing or eliciting belief, there is a presentation of working hypotheses to be considered in the light of emerging evidence
- The ideas are not fused to moral worth or identity
- The message does not use emotion exploitatively – i.e., does not deliberately generate outrage, panic, or ecstatic certainty in order to elicit action
- There is a meta-awareness – cognition observing itself, noticing why an idea seems compelling, what psychological needs it satisfies, and how it is shaping perception. This is high level mentalising (as that concept is used in mentalisation-based therapy).
- Non-viral cognition removes the fuel from destructive memes.
The web of language functions like a net that ensnares our consciousness. It can become a vortex of words, a frantic manic or obsessive stream of quasi-thought leading to insanity (Mollon, 2020b). For sanity and mental health, it is vital to develop access to states of mind that are not word-based. These can be facilitated by strategies such as meditation, athletics, nature-based activities, and experiences that are sensory-based (such as music, dance, art, massage). We should also note that those psychotherapies that rely on conventional verbal language (as opposed to free-association) may not be the most helpful - since they seek to resolve with conventional language the problems caused by language. Modalities that also incorporate somatic elements, such as EMDR and energy psychotherapy may have the potential to be more effective.
Summary
Words are both an essential tool for human communication and the source of much misery and frustration. Whilst words can be used to transmit messages that have integrity – ethical communication – they can also be used to coerce. These problems and hazards of language are exacerbated by social media. A conscious shift towards ethical communication may be advantageous for our societies and our species.
References
Barratt, B. B. (2016). Radical Psychoanalysis: An Essay on Free-Associative Praxis. Abingdon, Oxon. Routledge.
Lanza, R. & Berman, R. (2009). Biocentrism: How Life and Consciousness are the Keys to Understanding the True Nature of the Universe. Dallas, TX, Benbella.
Mollon, P. (2015). The Disintegrating Self. Psychotherapy with Adult ADHD and Autistic Spectrum. London, Karnac.
Mollon, P. (2020). Pathologies of the Self. Exploring Narcissistic and Borderline States of Mind. London, Confer.
Mollon, P. (2020b). The Problem of Words. It’s Why We are All Mad! London, Confer.
Mollon, P. (2025). The Physics of the Mind. New Perspectives for Psychotherapists, Healers, and Seekers. London, Karnac.